Posted by Natasha Bennett Monday, June 20, 2011
For those who are not gamers, and living in a cardboard box, Duke Nukem was a pretty famous game even before it hit the stores. Why? Let’s just say there are plenty of jokes about the title: Duke Nukem forever. As in, it took twelve years from start to finish. Even then, the inevitable pretty much happened:
But still, the fans waited patiently. And what did we get? A really, really average game. And yet, about a day after I played this game, the bad reviews started to pour in, and I really can’t understand why. Sure, we seem to be living in a world where we expect to see amazing things, and where the visual graphics and storytelling bar always seem to be raised from year to year. Duke Nukem Forever, on the other hand, seems content to live in an ‘80’s setting, with sub-par graphics and a simple plot and an easy first-person shooter. The reason why I don’t have a problem with this is...well, because it’s Duke Nukem.
Lemme explain for the people who’s never played the original game before. Duke Nukem is considered the ultimate action star, with mere people like Arnold Schwarzenegger happy to lick his boots. Thousands of women love him, men want to be him, and he owns a burger shack, a stripper joint, and a casino all showcasing his awesomeness. He’s saved the world a dozen times over, and easily performs insane stunts that defy physics or common sense. Oh, and in his spare time he punches out Christian Bale. And protects the world from aliens.
In case it wasn’t obvious, Duke Nukem is considered a parody of an action star, and the game itself never takes itself too seriously. I’ve heard complaints that the game is too short, but I dunno, if anything, the levels seem a tad too long if anything. Really my only gripe is that the original voice actor is in the game, and while he does have a kick-ass voice, he can’t seem to have too much emotional gauge. (Good thing he’s Duke Nukem, and too cool for those girlie emotional scenes!). Still, in the rare time he does have it the voice really feels misplaced.
Oh, and I suppose there’s a complaint or two about Duke Nukem killing all those woman on the spaceship. Well, two things. First of all, the exact same thing happened in the original so one could argue that the game is being true to the source material. Second, he’s Duke Nukem so...it was their fault they got in the way of his bullets. Yeah.
FINAL GRADE: 2 ½ out of 5. You’re not going to get a ‘Heavy Rain’ type of game here. More like lots of toilet humor, lots of naked women, and lots of the Duke.
I did love the loading screen, which gives you such helpful tips like 'Avoid bullets to take less damage.' or 'If you get stuck, remember to cheat online.'
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