Blogger's note: Significant spoilers for Highlander 4. Minor spoilers for Highlander 1, 2, and 3.

Every now and then I have to step away from horror movies and focus on other genres. Even though there are plenty of bad horror movies out there, they shouldn’t be the only ones to suffer on my blog, right? I mean, what about the sappy romance films? Those atrocious comedies? The sci-fi movies that have no imagination? Well, today I’m going to do a review of Highlander 5: The Source. 

Now admittedly if I wanted to talk about bad movies in this series, I should really talk about either Highlander 2 or Highlander 4. However I am also more into the obscure movies, and Highlander 5 was the only movie in the series to never make it to theaters, becoming a straight to DVD-release instead.

First of all, a little history for those who have no idea who or what Highlander is. In a nutshell, a group of immortal beings go running around trying to cut each other's heads off, in the hopes of winning some grand prize in the end. There are however, a few basic rules to go along with this tournament.

1) No fighting on holy ground.
2) Fighting is one-on-one. No interference from other immortals.
3) No immortal can ever have children.
4) After an opponent is killed, the other immortal earns all their memories and experiences through a process called ‘the Quickening’.

So, in case you were glossing over what I was saying, let me sum it up for you. Highlander is a bullshit theory based on rules that are bullshit, bullshit, and more bullshit. And don’t worry-I’m going to explain why as I go along.

Highlander was the first movie that introduced all of these concepts. As far as movies go, it was a mild classic-but there was a problem attached to it as well. In Highlander, the main character, Connor MacLeod (played by Christopher Lambert), killed all the competition and won the prize. How then, could four more movies and two t.v shows even exist? Well, they try to explain this in Highlander 2. As it turns out, immortals are really aliens who were banished from the planet Zeist.

….let’s move on and pretend I never wrote that.





 Out of all the movies, Highlander 3 was probably the closest movie to be tied to Highlander 1. While it wasn’t a great movie, it didn’t actively go out to destroy its own concepts and characters with a dull-edged sword.

Which brings us to Highlander 4. First of all, this was the first movie to star both Connor MacLeod from the films, and Duncan MacLeod (played by Adrian Paul) from the hit t.v show Highlander. This should have been a hit movie. Two MacLeods facing what may be one of their most powerful foes up to date. Instead, this is the movie that officially killed the Highlander series for good. How? Well, let me count the ways.

First of all, the trailer of the movie itself had several scenes in it that were not in the actual movie, and the creators never explain why that is. Secondly the evil bad guy in this film kills several immortals on holy ground without any consequence. Thirdly, it turns out immortals are actually mortals that can turn immortal if they die a horrible death. So wait…what? That means that there can be no final prize because immortals are not a select group of chosen ones but constantly growing-gah you know what screw it. The series is already dead. The worst part is that  I’m only halfway through the list.

Fourth of all, both Duncan and Connor MacLeod are emo throughout the entire movie, making them equally unlikeable. Fifth, the ‘love’ interest, Kate, dies in the film version but springs back to life in the DVD edition with no explanation. Six, and worst of all, Connor gets his head nicked off by Duncan, because Duncan might have a chance of beating the antagonist with Connor’s experience. Because you know, it’s not like they can’t gang up on him or anything. It’s not like every other Highlander rule has been broken so far in this movie.

I had originally intended to give a very brief summary of the Highlander films, but they are just so bad that this review has to be broken into two parts. But you know what? Maybe Highlander 5 can save this series. Maybe it can pull some kind of divine miracle and make this all worthwhile. Oh wait a minute-we still have some characters from the t.v show we haven’t killed off yet, right? Nevermind.

FINAL GRADE:
Highlander 1: 4 stars out of 5
Highlander 2: 1 1/2 stars out of 5
Highlander 3: 2 stars out of 5.
Highlander 4: 0 stars out of 5.

There can only be one. Or you know, a couple of thousand every year.

Today I have an interview with Meira Pentermann, author of Firefly Beach. Meira enjoys reading a cozy novel on slow, snowy days in her Colorado home. Intrigued by the paranormal and drawn in by a captivating mystery, she strives to write stories that deliver the unexpected. She prefers down-to-earth characters that look and behave like regular folks. The prom queen and Adonis take a backseat to reclusive, soul-searching heroines and quirky, introverted gentlemen.

When not competing with her mischievous cat for use of the keyboard, she enjoys life’s little moments with her family – the quiet wisdom of her artistic eighteen-year-old, the trials and triumphs of her petite third grader, and the unlimited encouragement offered by her Dutch husband.

Natasha: Tell me a little about yourself. How long have you been writing? When you’re not writing, how do you like to spend your free time?

Meira: Hello, Natasha. Thank you for inviting me.

I live in Colorado with my husband, two girls, a couple of cats, and a devoted dog. I have been writing since I was twelve, keeping journals and jotting down an occasional poem. Writing has always been not merely a pleasure, but an intrinsic desire. Nevertheless, I was thirty-nine before I made a serious attempt to write a full-length novel. As a matter of fact, I wrote an entire novel in one month out of the blue. It wasn’t any good (smile), but I played with it for many years and learned much about writing and editing in the process. Furthermore, just knowing that I was capable of stringing together 70,000-plus words gave me the confidence to start a new novel.

During my free time, I love to read. (What a surprise!) I’m especially fond of YA Fantasy, but I gobble up just about anything from romance to history.

Natasha: Your novel, Firefly Beach, is available as both an e-book and in paperback. How did it feel to be published?

Meira: I will never forget the moment I received the email from Lyrical Press. After fifty rejections of my query letter, I had developed a thick skin and low expectations. I did not believe anyone would ever read the manuscript. In fact, I intended to shelve the project after submitting to Lyrical Press. Believe it or not, when I noticed the email in my inbox, my heart sank. This is it, I thought. The final rejection and the end of the journey for Firefly Beach. When I read it, I didn’t quite understand. Where’s the but? I wondered. I reread the email looking for the words “but it’s not right for us” or “but we are not taking on new authors at this time.”

When I finally digested the fact that there was no but, my head spun. Not only did someone read the manuscript, they actually wanted to publish it! I screamed. Then I brought my family members in, so we could all scream together. Finally, I found my best friend at the neighbourhood pool and casually handed her a printout of the email as if it were just another rejection. The look on her face? Priceless.

Natasha: Can you tell us a little about Firefly Beach? How long did it take you to write the story?

Meira: Firefly Beach is a paranormal cozy mystery.

In an attempt to renew her spirit, recently divorced Beth LaMonte gathers her art supplies and rents a cottage on the coast of Maine. Soon after her arrival, Beth encounters a mysterious, marble-sized ball of light. The silent, glowing creature overwhelms her with a series of puzzles – first guiding her to a secret beach and, later, a hidden diary. Beth’s curiosity leads her on a quest to uncover her reclusive, elderly landlord’s past. As she diligently pursues the fate of a woman she never met, she is forced to confront and process her own painful memories.

I began writing Firefly Beach in February of 2007. The original draft took about six months to complete. Then I put it through an extensive editing process. I didn’t start mailing query letters until January of 2008. Just before I submitted to Lyrical Press in July, I did another thorough edit and cut about 5,000 words to pick up the pace. I’d like to think that sealed the deal :)

Natasha: What was your favourite scene to write? What was your least favourite scene?

Meira: What a great question! I had to give it some serious thought.

I really enjoyed writing Beth’s dream segments. I love how dreams can take twists and turns during their voyage through the subconscious. I also had a lot of fun writing a funeral scene. Sounds creepy, I know, but it made me laugh. One of the matrons of the community throws her hand up and says to the out-of-town minister, “Hold it, Reverend.” . . . Katherine’s diary was also a blast. Ah, to be sixteen again.

The least favourite is more difficult to pinpoint. I am drawn to the story and the characters, and I really enjoyed writing Firefly Beach. Perhaps descriptive paragraphs give me the most trouble. I don’t go on for three pages describing the front of a house. Nevertheless, I belabour over the few sentences I do write to flesh out a garden or a room. I can compose a dozen pages of action and dialogue in the same time it takes me to write one paragraph of descriptive details.

Natasha: Do you have any public events scheduled for your book?

Meira: I will be doing a dozen syndicated radio programs this spring. Scary, but exciting. I do not have the schedule yet, but I will post the information on my website.

Natasha: Do you have any advice for beginning writers that are trying to get published?

Meira: Beginning writers are my favourite people. I often drop by writer’s forums to say “hi” to the new members and read about their current projects and aspirations.

Thinking about what made the biggest difference in my journey, I offer beginning writers the following counsel:

Build a fortress. Not to shut out helpful criticism or honest feedback, but to hold off the demons of doubt. When you put an idea out into the universe, don’t expect to be greeted with gushing enthusiasm. It is more likely you will encounter criticism, rejection, disregard, or doubt. Of these, criticism is your best friend and doubt your worst enemy. When a person criticizes your work, they actually believe you’ve got something worth evaluating. Someone who is willing to read your manuscript and give you tough, honest feedback is like gold. Hang on to such a friend. Send her flowers. Take her out to lunch. Don’t lose her because your ego is sensitive. Doubt, on the other hand, is the monster against which you must hold your ground. When someone looks at you as if they know you will never amount to anything, that’s the time to let your ego stand in defiance. Do not ever accept doubt from anyone. . . especially not yourself.

Natasha: What is the best way for readers to contact you? (e-mail, facebook, twitter, etc)

Meira: I prefer email, since my Facebook account is getting cluttered and I might miss something. I haven’t set up a Twitter account yet (I know, I know, I hear you, but I fear I will become obsessed.) So please contact me at: meira@meirapentermann.com. I am happy to answer questions, chat, or meet a new cyber writing buddy.

Thank you, Natasha. It’s been great talking with you.

Natasha: Thank you!

Blogger's note: Minor spoilers for the movie.

So let’s talk about Dead Silence and WOW that’s a movie that’s been on my ‘to be reviewed’ pile for a while. Well, in fairness to me, this movie is so mediocre it is barely even worth mentioning. I bought this movie at a younger time in my life, when I was a lot stupider. I naively believed that if someone creates an awesome movie series that spawns a cult following, they logically should be able to create another one. In this case, those people were James Wan (director of Saw), Leigh Whannell (writer of Saw) and the late Greg Hoffman (producer of Saw).

Like I said, I was stupid. This movie was so bland it didn’t last more than sixteen days in theatres. Here’s the plot-Jamie Ashen receives a mysterious doll named Billy in the mail. While he’s grabbing some food, his wife, Lisa, sets Billy up in the bedroom to scare him. This idea doesn’t go exactly to plan.




After her murder, Jamie goes back to his home town and finds out that Billy actually belongs to a woman named Mary Shaw, a late ventriloquist. While at a performance years ago, Mary Shaw is mocked by a boy named Michael, who claimed to see her lips move. In response, Mary…kills him.

Really, Mary Shaw? You murdered some kid because he claimed to see your lips move? After you verbally whooped his behind in the performance itself? You’re hosting a comedy show and you’re going to kill anyone who gives you a bad review??? Thanks to the internet you might have a very busy schedule.

Anyway, in response to Michael’s disappearance and subsequent death, one of Jamie’s ancestors kills Mary and cuts out her tongue. Mary Shaw returns as a ghost-doll-thingy and then promptly kills pretty much everyone in the town. (Including innocent people who had nothing to do with her murder, of course). How does she do this? By scaring the crap out of people so when they scream she can rip out their tongues. Jamie must defeat Mary Shaw before he becomes her next victim. Or, you know, he could shut his mouth the entire movie and not have to worry. Either way works. 

It’s hard for me to pinpoint exactly why this movie is so bland, seeing how this might have been an interesting plot. The actors are decent, but the characters themselves are uninteresting and never go beyond their assigned roles. Although the set design is good, there are similar camera angles and ideas borrowed from Saw that really don't work here. The dialogue is atrocious at times and the very idea of evil dolls are just boring. The dolls aren’t even the problem-the real antagonist is Mary Shaw, and she’s easily defeated if people just ignore her.



The only real bright spot in this film is Donnie Wahlberg, who plays Detective Lipton. Lipton is a cop who wants to believe Jamie is innocent of murdering his wife, and at times is deliberately being lazy so Jamie can investigate on his own (“No stop, Jamie, don’t make me chase you-I don’t have a full tank of gas!”) But unfortunately it's not enough to save this film. However if you do need to watch this film, I highly recommend that you watch the alternate ending as well, as that describes the motives of the antagonist a little bit more.

FINAL GRADE: 2 out of 5. Another run-of-the-mill movie. Didn't hate, didn't like, didn't care.

 While we're on the subject, what is the obsession with ripping out our tongues, anyway?

Today I would like to introduce Nerine Dorman, author of Khepera Rising and Khepera Redeemed. She is also an editor for Lyrical Press and lives in Cape Town, South Africa. 

Natasha: Tell me a little about yourself. How long have you been writing? When you’re not writing, you are also on the editing staff for Lyrical Press. Do you often have a busy schedule?

Nerine: I’ve lived in Cape Town, South Africa, my entire life, and it’s a super city to grow up in. I’ve always known I wanted to work in the media industry but it took me a while to figure out exactly what I’d like to do. This has seen me working in magazine publishing, below-the-line advertising and now, as a sub-editor for a newspaper publisher. At the moment I’m considering a few editing and proof reading courses to bolster my work experience, and I’d eventually like to make the jump to full-time freelance fiction editing, which is one of my passions.

My other passion is, of course, writing, which I can’t seem to escape. I first seriously considered writing when I was about thirteen, but not much came of that until my mid-twenties, when I joined The Critters Workshop and started writing short stories. I blog, write travel and human-interest stories for the papers and somehow still find the time to squeeze in some of my own fiction, although I must admit that since I’ve started editing, I don’t really have as much time as I’d like to dedicate to my own writing.

I find I learn so much about the craft of writing by fixing other people’s manuscripts I’m happy to produce quality, not quantity. The sweetest reward with editing is when my authors receive awesome reviews. I know where they’ve started and it’s always very satisfying to see the final product.

Natasha: What do you like to do when you’re not writing or editing?

Nerine: Ideally I like to spend time at home, since I live next to a national park and even after three years living in my little “treehaus”—a wooden cabin on stilts—I still feel like I’ve arrived at a holiday resort. I have a large garden where I cultivate succulent plants, as well as my container garden on my balcony.

Other than that, I often help my husband with his fetish/glam photography and sometimes assist him when he’s busy with filmmaking. I’m getting more and more sucked into the local indie film scene in Cape Town, which is very exciting as there is so much happening and so much creativity. It truly is “Little Hollywood” here.

I love travelling and organise at least one big road trip each year. My other interests include belly dancing, magic, psychology and history. I love music and can play a number of instruments but I’ve set any ideas of amateur musicianship aside for now. If I could discover a way to go without sleep then maybe I’d try to get more done.



Natasha: Your first book, Khepera Rising was published on December 2009. Your second book, Khepera Redeemed, will be published shortly. Can you tell us a little about both books?

Nerine: In short, the Khepera series follows the misadventures of my current favourite anti-hero, James Edward Guillaume. A self-confessed black magician, he is very much a vain, preening narcissist, but his opinions of the world around him more than make up for his foibles. My readers either love him or hate him. Khepera Rising sees James get revenge after a pair of Christo-militants elects to purge the country of what they consider evil. Added to the mix is one hell of a scary entity known only as The Burning One, and James still has to deal with that while trying to get back together with an old flame.

I really didn’t think I’d write a second book but I had one of my moments of illumination and scribbled down the outline one afternoon shortly after I sold book one. This novel picks up about four months after the events in the first, with the police roping James in as a consultant on a series of ritual murders. To give some background, here in Africa it’s quite a regular occurrence for people to be murdered for body parts for magical rituals performed by so-called “witches”. It’s a very contentious subject and I’ve been following news reports whenever they crop up, so I thought to bring the awful concept a little closer to home in the southern suburbs.

Natasha: How long did it take you to write the series?

Nerine: I started writing Khepera Rising early in 2007. Because this was my first novel-length work, it took me a year to write then six months to edit. I really struggled to get my posterior on the seat but find now that I’ve an idea of how to approach long works, it’s really much easier than it used to be. And it’s far more rewarding than watching telly or playing computer games.

When I set my mind to it, I can now write a full-length work in under three months (about 90 000 words). I then send the manuscript off to my beta readers and forget about it until the critique arrives. I usually procrastinate for about six months before starting round two edits. It’s important to allow a manuscript time to lie fallow, so I can attack it with fresh eyes. It always amazes me how many gremlins I find.

Writing is a waiting game. Too many authors rush their first manuscripts with the resultant rejections that follow. I’ve found it useful to have about three or so works in progress at different stages of production so I always have something that is almost ready for submission. To give you an idea, I’ve submitted a novella I wrote about a year ago to my editor only last week.



Natasha: What was your favourite scene to write? What was your least favourite scene?

Nerine: I have so many favourite scenes but I enjoy the astral/dream sequences the best because I allow my imagination to wander and the results are often surprising and very Jungian. My least favourite scene to write was definitely the part in Khepera Rising where James returns home to find a disaster. I don’t want to give spoilers, but it was probably one of the most difficult events for me to put down in words. It shocked my editor so much she had to skim over that part and return to it later.

Natasha: Do you have any advice for beginning writers that are trying to get published?

Nerine: Stop talking about it. Do it. I joined The Critters Workshop, an online critique group, (www.critique.org) and it was an excellent starting point. The site has some great resources. I also suggest googling the snowflake method of outlining a story. Later, once you’ve made some other writing buddies, see about starting a critique group in your chosen genre, either online or in your home town. Make time every day for your writing. It is better to write 500 words a day than to write maybe twice that amount once a week. Then, when you think your manuscript is as good as it can be, start submitting. Yes, you will face rejection after rejection, but the trick is to be stubborn as hell and if you do receive feedback from editors or agents, take it to heart and try to apply changes to your writing. If you’re looking for markets to submit to, www.duotrope.com is a valuable resource.

As an aside, in my role as content editor, I am always on the lookout for new manuscripts to recommend to my publisher. Some of my favourite authors include Neil Gaiman, Storm Constantine, Jaqueline Carey and Poppy Z Brite, so if you reckon you write dark fantasy rich in evocative prose, strong narrative and lush descriptions, drop me a mail at nerinedorman@gmail.com after looking at the submissions guidelines at http://www.lyricalpress.com/submissions

Natasha: What is the best way for readers to contact you? (e-mail, facebook, twitter, etc)

Find me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/nerine
Twitter: http://twitter.com/nerinedorman
Livejournal: http://nerinedorman.livejournal.com
Email: nerinedorman@gmail.com
Khepera Rising: http://www.lyricalpress.com/khepera_rising
Khepera Redeemed: http://www.lyricalpress.com/khepera_redeemed

You know, it’s fine and good when we have an axe-wielding psychopath after us. I mean, we can have weapons too. And Kung fu. We’re not all helpless screaming teenage victims, after all. But what do you do about the things you can’t protect yourself from, such as mirrors? I mean, mirrors are everywhere, right? What can you really do to an evil possessed mirror, smash it? I guess that would actually solve the problem on second thought. But what if it had super mirror powers and could fix itself? Ha! You didn’t think of that, did you? Well, this movie, aptly titled Mirrors dives deep into this conundrum.

So the film pretty much starts with…Jack Bauer from the t.v show 24 moping about being fired. Huh. Not a really surprising development, but I didn’t expect him to end up in this movie. Anyway, while waiting to be reinstated pending a review of his latest terrorist tactic-I mean, accidently shooting a fellow cop, Jack must hold down a stable job in a burned down department store with lots of mannequins and mirrors. Things take a dark turn after Jack discovers the mirrors can show him horrible images of people burning, or force his friends and family to hurt themselves every time they look into a mirror. How they are able to do this is not really explained, but it’s a scary thought nevertheless.

I was actually pleasantly surprised by the level of character development in this film. Maybe it’s because I’m still reeling from the awful characters from the Unborn, but the characters in Mirrors seem a tad more realistic than most. Yeah, it’s basically Jack Baeur running around with a flashlight and a gun, but some of the actions he takes are pretty reasonable. His soon-to-be-divorced wife Amy is a woman who loves Jack deeply, yet when he breaks into her house to throw green paint on all her mirrors (after she discovers his drug addiction, no less) her response is pretty realistic too.

By the way, I know that Jack's character has a different name in this movie, but screw it. He’s shoving a gun in the faces of innocent nuns and screaming his head off every chance he gets. It’s Jack Baeur. Anyway, another part of this film I like is that the motivation of the evil mirrors are a mystery for most of the film. When Jack asks what they want, the mirrors spell out only one word-ESSEKER.

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Okay, how many people just tried to spell that backwards? Seriously people, give the movie a little more credit than that. Anyway, Jack needs to find out the answer to this mystery fast, before his wife and kids are targeted by the mirrors.




I’ve talked about the good parts of this movie, but let’s talk about the bad parts. Say, did you know that the mirrors in this movie are evil? Well in case you forgot, this movie will remind you. Ninety-eight times (yeah, I counted, and that was a very generous count on my part). So what starts off as a suspenseful movie will soon turn into a drinking game all your friends can enjoy. The rules are simple. Take a shot every time you see a mirror or a reflective surface. You’ll be drunk before the second half.

Unfortunately while the second half is not 100% predictable, it does borrow from some tired cliché elements. As a result Mirrors does feel like it’s run out of momentum long before the actual ending. And fair warning-while the gore scenes are few and far between, they will scar you for life.

Happy viewing!